Genetic
by NeverTrustTheDucks
Summary: They had no clue. They didn't even care. They just thought he grew out of it. Out of it. Out of his mom's influence, out of the whole damn situation! Anorexic!Stiles Angst!
1. Chapter 1

I DO NOT OWN TEEN WOLF!

Stiles wasn't always as skinny as he is now. But they don't need to know that. They just thought he used to have a little problem with food. No one remembers, anyway, they won't believe anyone who tries to say otherwise. But nobody will, because nobody knows. Nobody knows.

They didn't know about the hours spent in the bathroom, shoving his fingers down his throat, coughing up the tiniest sliver of food that had made its way to his stomach, because he was so, so weak, and he couldn't resist. But he should have. Oh, he should have. It would have saved him so much trouble. It would have saved him so many lies, the ones that didn't matter, but did. The "I_ ate at Scott's, dad_" normally followed by, "I_ ate at home, Ms. McCall_" or, his favorite "I'm_ fine. Don't worry_" Don't worry. I'm fine.

They didn't know how much lying he had to do to convince his dad that the only reason he was staying at school late was because he had extra classes, and not because he was running 10 laps per hour, just running and running until his feet bled and he couldn't even hear everyone's voice in his head. _Are you sure you want to eat that? Isn't that a bit too much? Did you gain more weight? That's enough. _Enough. Enough

They didn't know about the way his mother used to look at him, used to look at herself. She loved him sure, but she didn't love his appearance. _But mommy, I look like you. Exactly, sweetheart. _She would stand in front of the mirror in her room, and Stiles could see his own reflection, almost identical to hers, from where he would be sitting on her bed. _Disgusting,_ she would say, and Stiles would wonder whether she was talking to him or to herself. She would pinch the practically non-existent skin on her arm and say, _I look pathetic._ And then she would swivel around and stare at Stiles, as if expecting him to say _no, you don't mommy, _but he would be too busy staring at his own reflection, wondering how it was possible to get so fat without even eating that much. Get so fat. So fat.

They didn't know how sad he was when she passed, not only because she was his mommy and he loved her, but also because now she wouldn't be there to warn him to stop eating, or to take the food away from his too-chubby hands, with an elegant _it's for your own good, honey. _Good. Your own good.

When he was 10, a year after his mom died, he became best friends with Scott, and Stiles liked him, not just because he was fun to play with, but also because he ate so much he never noticed Stiles' lack of appetite. So hungry. No, not hungry…

And since Stiles has been doing this since he was 8, it came as a bit of a shock when he would slip up. The first time was after everything with the Nogitsune happened. _Don't let them know about what I taught you do in the bathroom after eating, OK baby? Yes, mommy. _Everything happened.

They were all at Derek's house, and Lydia, hell bent on celebrating and getting over Allison, had brought all kinds of food. Pizza, burgers, pasta, curly fries… And Stiles didn't touch a single thing. He had already eaten too much yesterday, granted he had choked it all up later, but he couldn't do that in a house full of people with super-hearing. Scott noticed, because Allison wasn't there to distract him and Kira was with her family. That smells so…terrible, Stiles.

"Hey, man, aren't you going to eat anything?''

Stiles were scared that if he opened his mouth, he would vacuum the whole table. So he just shook his head with a tight-lipped ''uh-uh''. This was a mistake, because Scott looked worried. He had slept over at Scott's last night and had been with him for the whole day yesterday, and it seemed Scott had only just noticed his best-friend hadn't eaten anything. Like, at all.

Stiles felt his heartbeat quicken, and he silently cursed it as the rest of the pack turned to stare at him. It was obvious something was going on, and Stiles could already feel the cold fingertips of a panic attack starting to clench his heart.

''Stiles,'' asked Scott, oblivious to the fact that everyone else had completely shut up '' when was the last time you had anything to eat?''

Stiles shrugged because now he was pretty sure that the panic attack was coming in full force. But he would not give in. He was doing so well. He knew that the last thing he had eaten was breakfast yesterday with his dad, but, like he had said, he had left that in his bathroom. It's for your own good, Stiles.

But it was too late. He already couldn't hear any of his friend's voices, but their lips were moving and Stiles wondered if he would be blamed for having ruined the celebration. Just go to sleep, sweet. But mommy, I haven't had lunch or dinner yet. You don't need it, baby. It's for your own good.

_It's for my own good_, thought Stiles as his head lolled to his chest and he succumbed to the blackness…


	2. Chapter 2

**I DO NOT OWN TEEN WOLF!**

Stiles didn't immediately open his eyes when he woke up. He could hear people shifting around the room, and he wondered where he was. The last thing he remembered was fainting at Derek's, but surely they wouldn't have stuck around? Before opening his eyes, he took a deep a deep breath. There was still a subtle smell of food, and Stiles realized how hungry he was. _Get that out of your head, Stiles_. _It's all in your head._

He opened his eyes, and the first thing he noticed was that he was still at Derek's. Good. At least they hadn't taken him to the hospital. They probably just thought he had a panic attack. They didn't need to know it was because of the lack of proteins in his body. They didn't need to-

''Stiles!'' Scott's voice drew him out of his thoughts. He hadn't realized how long he had been staring at the same spot on the ceiling. Obviously long enough for the others to notice he was awake. He tried to sit up, but he found he could hardly control his own body, so gave up and resorted to staring at everyone.

Lydia was seated on a couch next to him. Scott was kneeling in front of his couch. Derek was glowering at him from the doorway. Jackson was trying to pretend that he didn't care, but Stiles could see the slight worry in his not-so-subtle glances. Isaac and Liam were watching worriedly from the couch next to Lydia's.

"Do you remember anything from before you passed out?'' asked Scott. Before Stiles could think of an answer, Derek got up from his place against the doorway and trudged over to them, already talking; "More importantly, do you know _why_ you passed out?"

Stiles knew. Of course he knew. He needed some food in his stomach. He wasn't an idiot, he knew he had a problem, but he was _just so fat._ He couldn't tell them that, so he just shrugged, which probably worried them more because w=he was Stiles and he was supposed to be ranting on about how it was probably just his awesomeness catching up to him.

"Stiles?" came Lydia's soft voice from next to him " When was the last time you had anything to eat?" she sounded curious, as if she was just wondering, but Stiles knew it was because of what had happened with him. He supposed he could simply not answer, but that would probably be an answer by itself, now wouldn't it? And he couldn't lie; they would call him on it.

So instead he took a deep breath and mumbled the answer. He was pretty sure they didn't hear it, because he hardly said anything at all. So Liam, because he has IED, got up and knelt in front next to Scott.

"Look, dude." He said in a voice that Stiles never ever _ever_ associated with Liam, "My stepdad is a doctor, and I spend some time with him at the hospital, so I know the symptoms of an anorexic if I see one." Lydia gasped, staring at Stiles with wide eyes. "And you shouldn't do this to yourself, okay? It's no use." At this, Liam cut his eyes to the floor sadly. "Trust me. It never comes out the way you want it to."

Stiles stared at him with wide eyes. How had he known? Stiles had been so careful to hide it from them, so very careful. He didn't have time to say anything before Liam got up and left, head down, without looking at anyone. Scott stared after him, and Stiles knew he was making a mental note to go speak to the kid when he was done with Stiles.

Everyone was staring at Stiles. "What?" he snapped after a few moments of not being able to take it anymore. They looked away, except for Scott. "How long have you…I mean, how long has this…?" Stiles knew what he was asking. But the way his best friend looked, the way Lydia looked, hell, even the way Derek, Isaac and frickin' Jackson looked, Stiles wanted to make it better. He didn't want ot have to be better anymore. So he answered.

"A couple years before my mom died." He stared at the floor, waiting for them to blow up at him. Instead, Lydia jumped up and threw her arms around him, sobbing into his shirt. Stiles knew he should be angry that she pitied him, but he just really wanted a hug.

Scott got up with a look that said "we're so not done here" and took Lydia's earlier place on the couch, allowing the banshee to cry, as if Stiles had already signed his death sentence.


	3. Author's Note 1

AUTHOR'S NOTE! PLEASE READ IF YOU LIKE THIS STORY! (wow, I really have no words, do I?)

Hi guys, I'm really sorry I haven't posted in a long time but I'm working on some new chapters for both my stories Some Space and Genetic, a week tops! I really hope you like them all, so don't give up on me!

xoxoxooxo NeverTrustTheDucks21


	4. Author's note 2: Im BACK

Soooo, HI.

I've been gone a few years, in which I had to go through lots of body-negativity, anxiety and other shit you guys don't need to hear about. As I was quite a bit more naive when I first started writing this story, and also so totally afraid of writing any swear in fear of _MOM BEING ANGRY AT ME_, I now swear every two words. :)

I'm just going to shoutout to this really awesome person who I know in real life, my actual best everything, who only just discovered Teen Wolf and who absolutely loves it. I told her to just check out this story, so HI BABY I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

There's another Chapter up! Hope you like it everyone, especially you Panda hehehe.

Sorry for taking so log, xx.


	5. Chapter 3

It was a couple weeks after the incident at Derek's house and Stiles was trying to get better. Where he would eat only two bird bites a day, he now ate full breakfasts and lunches. The pack had tried to make him eat dinner, but he still grimaced at the sight of food, so they decided to take it slow. For now.

The team was getting ready for practice. The usual routine. With a twist. Every time, before practice, while everyone would be getting ready for a good ten-laps, Scott, Liam or Danny (Jackson pretends not to care) would give Stiles something to eat. A small candy-bar. Chocolate. Things like that.

Today it was a granola-bar. Scott fished it out of his bag and turned just in time to see Stiles hastily pull down his shirt, eyes wide and a blush creeping up his pale cheeks. Clenching his jaw, the werewolf worked up a smile and moved towards his best friend. Stiles looked up from staring at his shoes, just to have a granola bar practically shoved into his mouth. He grimaced at first but accepted the food. He took a deep breath and stuck it between his teeth.

Together they walked into the field, desperately hoping that nothing was going to ruin the fragile stability. No such luck.

"Stilinski!" shouted coach "what are you- are you still eating?! Every time I turn around, you're right there, eating! God, breath a little, kid"

Oh.

Oh. Shit.

The pack knew he meant it as a joke, but Stiles didn't. Stopping mid-field, the young boy scrunched his eyebrows. What was he doing? Why was he doing this? Eating before practice, eating lunch, eating _at all._ What would his mother say? Oh, God, his mom would be so disappointed.

"Stiles," Scott tried, "listen, don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about he's always like this, please, just-"

"Scott." Said Stiles, eyes shut tight and knuckles white with the way he was clenching them, "Stop. Just, don't. Look, I know you're just trying to help, but I don't need you okay? All I have to do is lose those last few pounds, and everything will be just fine. Just leave me alone."

Scott blinked. "Last few pounds? Are you kidding me, Stiles you can't afford to lose a last few _anything _right now, don't you get it? You're sick, and you need help, Stiles."

But Stiles didn't hear him. Already making his way to the locker room, the calculator in his mind starting to turn back on, the numbers flowing at him at a crazy speed.

Scott stared after his friend, too angry to say anything. Jackson stood next to him, seething , and Liam glared at the coach. The coach, who had just ruined every bit of progress they had managed to make in the past few weeks, who had probably made everything worse than it already was.

Meanwhile Stiles stood in the bathroom. Staring at himself in the mirror, he grimaced at his reflection and turned away. The coach was right. He was always eating, _all the time._ This had to stop, and he hoped his friends would understand that this was all just for the best.

Sliding to his knees in front of the toilet, he lifted two shaking fingers to his mouth. The physical need to throw up all the food he had ingested over the past few weeks was overwhelming and he found himself thinking about how good it was about to feel when he got rid of it all.

Which he did.

Half an hour later, he got up and walked out of the bathroom, looking for all the world as if he had just come back from an energizing nap, which to him, it kind of was.


End file.
